Lauren Rose is a disabled wife & mom living with chronic pain, depression, & paralyzing anxiety. She is also a rape survivor and a survivor of verbal, physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse. Last year, she started a podcast & blog as ways for her to put good into the world & encourage others with chronic pain, mental health issues, or previous trauma.
About the Host:
Saylor Cooper is an inspirational figure who has begun his journey in Entrepreneurship to overcome the challenges of making a living with a disability and to demonstrate that it indeed it is possible by putting in hard work despite living with challenges! He is the creator / Host of Real Variety Radio, an internet radio station that offers a great variety of programming from all Genres of music and shows, along with the Hope Without Sight Podcast that features guests who have overcome diverse challenges and are an inspiration to the world. Of course, Saylor is not sure what is in store, but he is extremely excited for what is to come. His future goals include getting booked to speak on different types of stages and write a collaborative book with his podcast guests. Below is his contact card, which includes his website and socials:
https://ovou.me/livefasetiyacehe
About the Co-host:
My name is Matthew Tyler Evans and I am from the Northeast Texas area. I am blind like Saylor is and we have the same retinal condition. I decided to join Saylor‘s podcast because I have a strong interest in teaming up with him and I think together, we can inspire the world with others with disabilities.
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Transcript
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of
Saylor Cooper:Hope Without Sight with your host Saylor Cooper And
Tyler Evans:this is your co host, Tyler Evans.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah, you're finally back. I know he I know
Saylor Cooper:you missed yesterday because you have a Bible group. That's okay.
Saylor Cooper:You know, I, I guess I could do a few episodes without you. But
Saylor Cooper:you know now, so
Tyler Evans:I did listen to.
Saylor Cooper:A Very special woman who is asked to overcome
Saylor Cooper:challenges in life, as she's a disabled mother wife is just
Saylor Cooper:taking care of kids. And she's also a survivor of trauma, and
Saylor Cooper:other forms of assault. But despite this, she appears to be
Saylor Cooper:doing well and has come out on top. So please welcome Lauren
Saylor Cooper:Rose. Lauren, great to have you here on on the show.
Lauren Rose:Hi, thanks for having me. This is exciting.
Saylor Cooper:So let's get started. Tell us about yourself
Saylor Cooper:and how you got where you are today.
Lauren Rose:So just, I guess a quick recap of my life just
Lauren Rose:because it relates to kind of what's going on now. So I was
Lauren Rose:adopted when I was nine weeks old. My birth mom was 16. She
Lauren Rose:put me up for adoption immediately. I was I was raised
Lauren Rose:in a household with a verbally abusive father. And when I was
Lauren Rose:15, I developed an eating disorder and I started having
Lauren Rose:migraines and just daily like, I guess tension headaches because
Lauren Rose:I was just in a really bad place emotionally. I think I've been
Lauren Rose:depressed and have anxiety since I was about eight. And then when
Lauren Rose:I was 18, I had a cousin who sexually assaulted me. And then
Lauren Rose:when I was 19 and early 20s, I was again assaulted and
Lauren Rose:physically abused by a guy I was seeing. By the time I was 35. I
Lauren Rose:had had chronic migraines for 20 years. And I went into a four
Lauren Rose:week inpatient pain recovery programme. And I learned you
Lauren Rose:know, a lot of stuff about pain with a lot. One thing being that
Lauren Rose:between 50 and 80% of our physical pain is actually from
Lauren Rose:emotional pain. So I got out of that programme, I soon
Lauren Rose:discovered I have autoimmune disease, spondyloarthritis
Lauren Rose:spondyloarthropathy, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, and
Lauren Rose:degenerative disc disease. When he 16 was really rough going to
Lauren Rose:work. I had excruciating spinal pain, I wear a back brace every
Lauren Rose:day, I could barely walk. I ended up having to go on short
Lauren Rose:term disability in January of 2017. Because of my spine pain
Lauren Rose:was just so bad. I just couldn't function anymore. While I was on
Lauren Rose:short term disability, I I went to physical therapy, I was
Lauren Rose:getting steroid injections, but my pain started spreading. So
Lauren Rose:the arthritis wasn't just in my spine anymore. It was in
Lauren Rose:basically all of my joints. And just for fun, I developed
Lauren Rose:fibromyalgia. Why while I was on short term disability, because,
Lauren Rose:you know, not that I needed another chronic pain issue. But
Lauren Rose:that developed in July of 2017. After six months of my short
Lauren Rose:term, disability expired, and the company that I worked for,
Lauren Rose:which I loved, and was planning on working for my entire life,
Lauren Rose:they eliminated my position. And that just took my breath away. I
Lauren Rose:was devastated. I love this company. I love it. It's a
Lauren Rose:construction company. It's a construction company, based in
Lauren Rose:Seattle, Washington.
Saylor Cooper:Oh, so you weren't construction? And it
Saylor Cooper:sounds like
Lauren Rose:Yeah, I did the administrative side office
Lauren Rose:management, executive support, resolve office work. Not actual
Lauren Rose:construction. Because I don't like the Texas heat is good. It
Lauren Rose:gets pretty hot outside.
Saylor Cooper:It does Yes, I'm here in Houston, Texas area, so
Lauren Rose:Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, let let him use it for a
Lauren Rose:few years. So after they eliminated my position, I became
Lauren Rose:incredibly depressed. And this was just more than the regular
Lauren Rose:depression that I normally felt it was really deep depression. I
Lauren Rose:felt like I lost my purpose in life. And I mean, I barely got
Lauren Rose:out of bed and that was just to take care of my four five year
Lauren Rose:old daughter. It was a really a really dark place. I felt like
Lauren Rose:I'd lost my identity. Because I'd lost my job. I lost my
Lauren Rose:career. I lost my ability to function because of my chronic
Lauren Rose:pain. And I just I felt like I had no purpose in life. I could
Lauren Rose:even say my purpose was to take care of my family because I
Lauren Rose:couldn't even do that very well, because I could barely move. So
Lauren Rose:I spent about two years in a really dark place. And then, I
Lauren Rose:guess one day, I just decided, I just decided I didn't want my
Lauren Rose:daughter to grow up and remember me as her mommy who was always
Lauren Rose:in bed all the time depressed. Now. So yeah, that's, that's not
Lauren Rose:how I want to be remembered. So, I ended up joining a women's
Lauren Rose:Bible study, they're reading this book called, it's not
Lauren Rose:supposed to be this way, which is exactly how I felt about my
Lauren Rose:life. This is not what I've been working for. This is not what
Lauren Rose:I'd planned. I plan on having this rockin career and being a,
Lauren Rose:you know, working mom and just, you know, kicking butt in the
Lauren Rose:career. And, and that just wasn't how I planned it. So two
Lauren Rose:things got me out of the depression. One was I had a lady
Lauren Rose:in my group who encouraged me to practice intentional daily
Lauren Rose:gratitude. Oh, yes, she has. Yeah, she has this organisation
Lauren Rose:called grateful gratitude. It's a nonprofit, and that's all I
Lauren Rose:care about. So she encouraged me just every night, close my eyes
Lauren Rose:and think of three things I'm grateful for. And, I mean, it
Lauren Rose:got to the point where I was being grateful that I can like
Lauren Rose:that, you know, just really appreciating what I still could
Lauren Rose:do, instead of focusing on what I on what I couldn't do. And
Lauren Rose:that was a big change. And the other thing that really got me
Lauren Rose:out of my depression is realising that, that you know,
Lauren Rose:God, or if you're not a God, person, you know, yourself or
Lauren Rose:the universe. Okay? So, in my case, God, God could take my
Lauren Rose:broken life and make something beautiful out of it.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah, that's the way to go. Tyler, you believe
Saylor Cooper:that listens to?
Lauren Rose:Yeah, that is not something that I considered
Lauren Rose:before I was so focused on all that I lost. And in grieving
Lauren Rose:that, that two years of depression was a grieving
Lauren Rose:process, which I think was important for me to do, because
Lauren Rose:I'd lost so much, but that can't last forever. So I started
Lauren Rose:joining Facebook groups, and this app called the mighty which
Lauren Rose:is for people with chronic illnesses. And I started finding
Lauren Rose:joy, for the first time in two years by connecting with other
Lauren Rose:people who lived with chronic pain, or depression or anxiety
Lauren Rose:or previous trauma, and encouraging them, making them
Lauren Rose:feel not so alone, giving them advice, whatever the situation
Lauren Rose:was, I found joy in that. And I realised, okay, maybe I can't do
Lauren Rose:the job I was doing before. And maybe I can't have an actual job
Lauren Rose:right now. But at this point in my life, I think my purpose is
Lauren Rose:to help other people that are going through some of the things
Lauren Rose:same things that I've gone through.
Saylor Cooper:Oh, sure yeah
Lauren Rose:So that's kind of when I just decided that our
Lauren Rose:circumstances don't control our destiny or our attitudes we do.
Lauren Rose:And, and I just think that my pain has a purpose now. And
Lauren Rose:that's to equip me to be there for other people going through
Lauren Rose:the same thing. So I started a blog. And then I started a
Lauren Rose:podcast, called it hurts to mom, and I connect with parents or
Lauren Rose:other people who are experiencing chronic pain or
Lauren Rose:illness journeys. And just help them not feel so alone. I
Lauren Rose:started a group at my church, a small group, and it's
Lauren Rose:specifically for people with chronic pain. And I've had two
Lauren Rose:ladies in my group tell me, they literally were praying for a
Lauren Rose:group like this. And I started it and I didn't have any clue
Lauren Rose:anybody was praying for me to start a group. I just decided,
Lauren Rose:one out of five people lives with chronic pain, so cysts
Lauren Rose:domestically, there are plenty of people in my church who have
Lauren Rose:chronic pain. And sure enough, I've got a group of about 11
Lauren Rose:women, and we just do life together every week. And it's
Lauren Rose:just really encouraging for us not to have to walk through this
Lauren Rose:journey alone and to have that kind of community.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah, and also, I mean, to me, a lot of people
Saylor Cooper:think that money is more important, and it really isn't,
Saylor Cooper:you know, money can't buy happiness, you know, yeah, you
Saylor Cooper:know, you need it. You need it to pay your basic bills. But as
Saylor Cooper:long as as long as you can get by and be happy. That's what
Saylor Cooper:counts and your health always should come first.
Lauren Rose:Yeah. And it'd be nice if I had a job but I can't
Lauren Rose:work right now. That's just what life has thrown me. So I'm doing
Lauren Rose:my best to have this new purpose in my life and I'm finding a lot
Lauren Rose:of joy at it, but I really enjoy talking with other people like
Lauren Rose:on my podcast and connecting with them. I I really really
Lauren Rose:enjoy leading my women's group. It's been it's been beautiful
Lauren Rose:what God has created, you know, in the midst of of my physical
Lauren Rose:and emotional pain.
Saylor Cooper:Have you ever thought about really getting
Saylor Cooper:into entrepreneurship such as like going to speakers Playhouse
Saylor Cooper:monetizing your podcast doing affiliates speaking because
Saylor Cooper:that's what, you know, me and Tyler join, you know, you see,
Saylor Cooper:we're blind and we can't see and you know, for obvious reasons,
Saylor Cooper:it's just extremely difficult for us to find sustainable work,
Saylor Cooper:you know, which is why I'm not, you know, I'm not working now,
Saylor Cooper:but I'm okay. You know, I'm, I'm taking it to the next level. I'm
Saylor Cooper:going. I'm right now my job is to work on my company. And it's
Saylor Cooper:really taking off and doing well. So have you? Have you
Saylor Cooper:thought about just giving up finding a job and just going
Saylor Cooper:into business yourself?
Lauren Rose:Well, I've I've given up on the idea of having a
Lauren Rose:regular kind of job. I've thought about maybe trying to
Lauren Rose:monetize my podcast or but I haven't. I don't know what God
Lauren Rose:has in store for me. Maybe this is just what it's about. Maybe
Lauren Rose:it's maybe it's not supposed to be monetized. Maybe it is I'm
Lauren Rose:not sure if the opportunity comes up, then I would, you
Lauren Rose:know, certainly look into it and take it I just, I just don't
Lauren Rose:know what what God has planned for me yet.
Saylor Cooper:Makes sense. Makes sense. Yeah.
Tyler Evans:And of course, of course,
Saylor Cooper:mental pain can cause physical pain. And if you
Saylor Cooper:don't do anything about it, it only gets worse. And it seems
Saylor Cooper:like that you, you have you, you take care of yourself. It's
Saylor Cooper:great. But have you ever felt anger? Because. Have you ever
Saylor Cooper:felt that?
Lauren Rose:Abs? Absolutely
Saylor Cooper:Anger is not good? I don't like it.
Lauren Rose:Yeah, but in some cases, anger is just telling you
Lauren Rose:that there's some kind of injustice in the world. So like
Lauren Rose:I incredibly angry at, you know, the, my cousin who assaulted me
Lauren Rose:because he did the same thing to his little girl. And I tried to
Lauren Rose:help her and I couldn't use me or nobody cared, I don't. And
Lauren Rose:I'm still incredibly angry at the man who raped me and
Lauren Rose:physically abused me. I'm trying to work through it and forgive
Lauren Rose:them. But it's, which is a journey, of course. But you
Lauren Rose:know, that's just, it's just been a really hard, hard
Lauren Rose:process, because I do still feel anger that it seems from me, of
Saylor Cooper:I haven't been around you but what you've
Saylor Cooper:course,
Saylor Cooper:described. To me, it seems that you have not let the anger take
Saylor Cooper:hold, you have not displayed it? You know, since?
Lauren Rose:No, I don't, I don't feel anger. Like all the
Lauren Rose:time. It's really just when I'm thinking about the situation.
Lauren Rose:And, you know, anger is a secondary emotion. They say
Lauren Rose:there's always something under it, whether that's fear, or
Lauren Rose:whether that's hurt. I think for me, a lot of it is hurt. These
Lauren Rose:people hurt me so badly. That it's it's hard to get over that.
Lauren Rose:But I mean, I'm doing I'm in trauma therapy. And I'm working.
Lauren Rose:I'm working through these things because I do want to forgive
Lauren Rose:them. Because not not because they think they deserve it
Lauren Rose:because they don't think we do but because I don't want to
Lauren Rose:still have negative feelings towards them. But I don't let
Lauren Rose:any kind of anger control my life. That's, that serves no
Lauren Rose:purpose. I even forgave my dad before he passed away, year
Lauren Rose:before last of the verbal abuse and a lot of things that he said
Lauren Rose:to me, because I realised it does not do me any good to be
Lauren Rose:angry at a dead man. And so I I worked through that process and
Lauren Rose:forgave him.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like, I know, that gave
Saylor Cooper:us the code at a young age did the assault, a co lag around
Saylor Cooper:that time or later in life?
Lauren Rose:So the assault from my cousin was when I was 18. And
Lauren Rose:my rape was at 19. And the physical abuse was 19 and 20. So
Lauren Rose:it was all on those three years.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah, I see. you've come out on top. I mean,
Saylor Cooper:it sounds like and I'm proud of you for that. And, and you seem
Saylor Cooper:very spiritual religious, which is the way to go. Have you heard
Saylor Cooper:of speakers Playhouse before?
Lauren Rose:I don't think I have.
Saylor Cooper:Oh, I would. I would love to invite You It's
Saylor Cooper:epic. It's fun pada Palooza is so much fun. You're gonna love
Saylor Cooper:it. You, you It's padapalosa as an event where a ton of
Saylor Cooper:podcasters get together you interview each other. There are
Saylor Cooper:speakers, I got to speak on the last last pada Palooza the next
Saylor Cooper:one. It's coming up. It's I don't know what you're doing
Saylor Cooper:April. April 26. Right Tyler think it's part Palooza and they
Saylor Cooper:feel free. It's okay. It's a, it's okay. I'll send you that.
Saylor Cooper:I'll send you the link if you share it. If you're if you're if
Saylor Cooper:you're free. You should come.
Lauren Rose:Okay. Look, yeah, that.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah. But it seems like you've you're
Saylor Cooper:managing well, you manage emotionally which is in how old
Saylor Cooper:are your kids now?
Lauren Rose:She just turned 10
Saylor Cooper:10 Oh, great.
Lauren Rose:Yeah.
Saylor Cooper:Well, I will. So I don't believe that. I have
Saylor Cooper:anything else for you. It seems like you already told me you're
Saylor Cooper:moving forward. You're not sure like if you want monetize, which
Saylor Cooper:I get it, you know, it's it's a step by step process. See me and
Saylor Cooper:Tyler learning this to. Yeah. About, you know, Tyler, what
Saylor Cooper:questions do you have for guests show?
Tyler Evans:Um, I feel that you probably covered all the bases,
Tyler Evans:saying that. That your story just because inspirational
Tyler Evans:because, you know, like, you overcome so many obstacles in
Tyler Evans:life, like all of us have to. And I would argue that every
Tyler Evans:single person in the world in order to succeed has to, in
Tyler Evans:fact, my Bender and my one band directors that I had when I was
Tyler Evans:in high school. She was the headband director, she said,
Tyler Evans:that success is not measured by achievement, but by the
Tyler Evans:obstacles you overcome. Yeah. I mean, it's true. Because in
Tyler Evans:order to achieve success, you have to overcome obstacles. Like
Tyler Evans:to even begin with, like, you can't just, oh, just expect to
Tyler Evans:just achieve something just because No, you got to work
Tyler Evans:hard. And then, of course, there was a my superintendent. That
Tyler Evans:was once there. He told us that tradition plus pride plus hard
Tyler Evans:work equals success. You know, I don't know if you've heard of
Tyler Evans:that before. Teamwork makes the dream work. You know, he would
Tyler Evans:say assemblies and stuff, man. We had fun at our school
Tyler Evans:district, too. It was cool. Like, if you if you had perfect
Tyler Evans:attendance, you would get like, a TV possibly, or money car. It
Tyler Evans:was cool. Oh, yeah. And they would do a firework show for the
Tyler Evans:graduates at the end of the year. So that was really cool.
Tyler Evans:Yeah. So yeah, I went to a good school district. And I was
Tyler Evans:treated equally, because my mom fought for me, so that I could
Tyler Evans:be treated equally. So yeah, I feel that you probably had good
Tyler Evans:parents who thought they have very good parents per se, like
Tyler Evans:very, like, supportive all like, at first, but maybe a little, I
Tyler Evans:don't know,
Lauren Rose:they've gotten they got better as I got older. But,
Lauren Rose:you know, back to your point about obstacles. I'm reading
Lauren Rose:this book right now called called The Uninvited companion.
Lauren Rose:And it's all about how God uses our difficult circumstances to
Lauren Rose:grow us and mature us and bring us closer to him if we allow him
Lauren Rose:to. And, you know, they even said that, you know, God, you
Lauren Rose:know, almost always uses these difficult sorts of
Lauren Rose:circumstances, we just have to allow him to, and that's kind of
Lauren Rose:what I feel about my life is that, you know, I've got a
Lauren Rose:choice in all of these situations, I could either run
Lauren Rose:from Him, or I could run towards him, as the best decision is
Lauren Rose:always to run towards him.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah.
Tyler Evans:Absolutely. Yeah. And that Yeah. It's pretty
Tyler Evans:amazing story. And we want to thank you for being on taking
Tyler Evans:the taking the time out of your day, to just come on you.
Lauren Rose:Yeah. Thank you for being interested. You guys have
Lauren Rose:been very kind.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah, I believe you found us on the Facebook
Saylor Cooper:group, right? I think yes. Yes, yeah, it's working. It's
Saylor Cooper:working. So I'm so Tyler. Can you close this out with our
Saylor Cooper:customary ending if you don't have anything else?
Tyler Evans:Okay, so what do you say to people who feel they
Tyler Evans:have no hope in life?
Lauren Rose:From for me, Yeah, question for me. Yeah tomorrow
Lauren Rose:everything could change. Yeah, this this difficult circumstance
Lauren Rose:that you're going through the Depression, whatever it is, is
Lauren Rose:only temporary things always get better. They can get better. God
Lauren Rose:can make them better. You just have to have have some some some
Lauren Rose:faith.
Tyler Evans:That's right, right. There you go.
Saylor Cooper:That's awesome. Thanks so much for being on the
Saylor Cooper:show. Everybody give it up for Lauren Rose. Thank you. stay